the blog

Let's Be Honest

Hey guys, something has been bothering me. In the process of figuring this whole business thing out and finalizing my brand, I’ve realized that I’ve been a bit of a hypocrite. I’ve been writing about how I want people to be themselves during their sessions and creating safe spaces for my clients. But, I haven’t really shared anything about myself. Sure I’ve shared basic background stuff, but nothing that makes me, me. That’s how I feel anyway.

So I’m going to get a little personal today. Like, really personal. (To my comfort level anyway.) I want you guys to get to know me for who I am, so you can share who you are with me.

I try to hide a lot of these things because on some level I feel ashamed of them or embarrassed by them. I’m young, I still have much to learn and overcome. I’m working on not letting what other people think affect me. Others, I must admit, I’m nervous about stating because I don’t want to be judged or treated differently because of them.

So, shall I start with the heavy hitters first?

Why not.

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. A rare one called Takayasus Arteritis. At the same time I was also diagnosed with Celiac disease. And my God, did that change my life. Two years later I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. Again, that flipped my life upside down in more ways than one. Flash-forward to now and things are pretty good and manageable, not perfect, but manageable.

I also have depression and anxiety.

Honestly, I don’t know what to write for this. Many people before me have said many things, more eloquent than I could say at this moment. I could go into detail about my experience, but I’m not quite ready to share that story yet. I will say that this year has been a turning point. I have started therapy and I want to recommend it to everyone I know because it is so helpful. I’m not quite as nervous to admit this because I have heard many people say inspirational and helpful things about mental health, and going to therapy is one that everyone agrees on and are not ashamed to admit that they do so. So I will not be ashamed either.

Ok, let’s lighten things up a little bit, shall we?

I currently still live with my parents, (side affect of the depression, but it’s not an excuse) but I am trying to get on my feet and move out.

I only survived one semester (yes one semester) at a UW college before going onto a technical college. And yes, I a little embarrassed by this fact, but everyone’s life takes a different path and that is the direction I just happened to go. Some people don’t even go to college and aren’t ashamed of this fact and some even do amazing things! So I don’t have to be ashamed just because I didn’t go to a four-year college. (Ok, self pep talk over.)

I have read a numerous amount of “self-help” books and it turns out they are very helpful. Who knew? I have found several very inspiring. I have mentioned How to be a Bawseby Lilly Singh before and I still stand by it. I would also recommend Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It think it’s a great book to read if you’re feeling lost in life and out of control. How to be a Badassby Jen Sincero is also very motivating. I just finished reading that one not too long ago followed up by a book she recommended, 29 Giftsby Cami Walker which has also inspired me to try the 29 gifts challenge. I’ll let you know how it goes when I start it.

In my free time I like to watch YouTube videos of people playing video games, baking, redecorating people’s spaces, vlogging their life, or just hilarious people. I do workout videos on YouTube! There are some seriously amazing and talented people out there. It’s a great place for me to feel inspired by hardworking and successful people. And it’s a good place to just laugh and get rid of some stress.

I LOVE Marvel movies and get way to excited about new trailers that come out. (That Captain Marvel trailer was seriously amazing and gave me goose bumps!) But, I love it! I love getting invested in these movies and loving the characters no matter how critical others may be. And I love that I get excited about them! It feels amazing! I have had moments where people try to dull my excitement or tell me to tone it done, but come on, if I’m going to be true to me I am going to freak out a bit.

I think this is a good start to being honest. Who knows, maybe this will be a sort of series. I can expand on my illnesses, talk about my experience, and if I think of more stuff I want you to know about me I will definitely make another post. I always see people posting their best moments on social media and sometimes I get tried of it. It can be exhausting looking at everyone’s successes and comparing them to my own failures. It’s not uncommon for many people to do so. That’s part of why I decided to be so honest today, not just to share with you who I am, but to show that life is not always sunshine and rainbows. People are people. They have dark moments, they have things they are embarrassed by, and they have failures. That’s life.

Thanks for reading this. I would love to hear what you think or if you have anything to share. I know I say this a lot, but I really mean it. I would love to hear your stories. This is a safe space and we are all friends here.

Until next time friends.

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